Home Invasion

This was my first blog post on Myspace. I am coming up with some new stuff but this story makes me laugh so much that I want to share it...

Since my life is so uneventful, I have to write about my friend's excitement. Let me tell you about Anna:

Anna has two "pet" skunks. These are not your typical pet skunks. They are not the whimpy sort who have had their anal glands removed...these skunks are wild. Last night while Anna was doing the dishes, she saw out of the corner of her eye the stinky pair waddle in the back door. Every time the skunks sneak in, Anna tells herself she needs to repair the broken latch on the screen door that has allowed her odiferous friends to enter more than once in the past. That's right, they have wandered in before. They usually saunter in with that skunk smugness--kind of like they are over compensating for their obvious odor problem--look Anna up and down, grab a snack from the fridge, and leave--well, they would if they had opposable thumbs.

This appearance was different. One skunk headed for the office, probably to check his email, and the other slipped into the bedroom. Anna had never seen such audacity in her skunks! And, what does one do when skunks have come to visit? She thought about calling me because I live nearby, but quickly reasoned that I have even less skunk herding experience than she.
Her next thought was to cover up in a robe, rubber gloves and a motorcycle helmet in order to shoo the intruders out the door, anticipating their fright induced spray. She knew the stench could be removed by bathing in tomato juice but remembered that skunks, like squirrels, can carry rabies and little be-clawed/be-fanged critters tend to scratch and bite when faced with a threat.

If only she had a gullible minion who would unwittingly risk his personal body odor to scare the skunks out. Right then her kitty Frank strolled through the door ready for a scratch fest. Before he knew what happened, Frank was face to face with one of the stinkers. They high fived each other and talked about the Dodgers for five minutes.

With so many failed extradition attempts, Anna was faced with the reality that her visitors might very possibly never leave and she would be forced to move back to her mother's house or turn to a life on the streets.

Suddenly, all her years of cartoon watching paid off. The skunks had originally started hanging around her house when they were kits and her cats were kittens (hence, the skunks/cats playing poker scene) with the main draw being FOOD. Like Tom setting a trap for Jerry, Anna grabbed a handful of dry cat food and created a tempting trail leading out the door.
And she waited.

Skunks are like college guys, never turning down a chance to eat, so her skunk removal plan succeeded! Both black and white striped fellows grazed their way to the back yard.
She still hasn't fixed the latch on her screen door.